The “end of the school year” vibe is now here- but except this year it’s different. Everything just feels different, because this year, is the end of my high school career.
I’ve worked so hard, and has done so much to get here, and to feel how I feel. Graduating high school is a big milestone in my life. I know there will be more, but this is my first milestone- one of the biggest milestones in my life. The milestone where I finally break free of my crutches and run on my own.
Let the race begin.
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I love The City at night.
LA’s got nothing on my San Francisco. …I really will miss Northern California beauty when I move down to SoCal in August.
On another note: GUYSGUYSGUYSGUYS. Im on my way to the airport to get JOSH because he’s coming home to me!!! Why? So he can see me GRADUATE!!! His plane doesn’t land for an hour but I am still practically bouncing off the car walls. I’m gonna be up sooo late. But I don’t even care. Because he’s coming home!! Good Lord, I’m pathetic lol.
On 
His parents are cracking me up. They’re so cute :[] wanna be like them with my husband when I’m 50. Cuz they’re just so freaking adorable.
I took a puff of my inhaler (God I’m such a geek. Carting an inhaler in my purse.) and now I’m really ADD. Note to self: don’t do this before graduation.
Anyways: I am happy. That is all.
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Reflection.
A few months ago, when graduation was an ever-looming but still distant event, I was struck by how quickly life moves. At times it seemed like just a few months ago I entered VCHS as a freshman, and now this academic journey was truly coming to an end. Graduation, an abstract event for which I’d spent the past thirteen years of my life preparing, was suddenly an all too real entity. To say the least, it was overwhelming, and I wrote the following paragraph.
I’d love to stand here and tell you I’ve got it all figured out, to tell you I know the worst is over, and after surviving high school, I know I can conquer anything. I’d love to be able to write the words, “Everything will be okay,” and believe myself. I’d love to look out on so many smiling faces and feel assured of the good things to come. But, I’m not. To put it simply, I’m terrified. In comparison to the rest of my life, high school seems so inconsequential. How can four years of my life prepare me for living the rest? And if I’m not prepared, how can I succeed?
Back in November, a very wise man told me I could not constantly focus on the big picture without going stark raving mad. He compared life to a really long road trip. Each “pit stop” is a milestone in life, like…graduation. When it feels like the future is taking over your life, it is critical to focus on one day at a time, taking in the lessons and blessings of the day while preparing yourself simply for the next step. If life is a journey and all you focus on is the end of the road, of course you will never feel prepared. However, if focus on moving from one checkpoint to the next as Christ leads you, you will find you are not only surviving, but you are in fact thriving. With that lesson in mind, when I look back on that desperate moment, it is peace, not dread, which fills my heart. I accept that I may not have all the tools or knowledge I need to live out the rest of my life. But, there are a few things I do know.
I am prepared to step into the halls of college, due to both my teachers’ hard work and mine. I am prepared to take care of myself, thanks to the teaching of my parents and the example of other adults around me. I have the greatest team of mentors and friends to stand behind me as I make decisions. And I have the protection of Abba for when adversity comes and a never-ending shower of his love and blessings. The peace that comes from that knowledge gives me the strength to move forward into this big world. I am where I am supposed to be. Every stupid decision and fantastic judgment brought me here and taught me a lesson to prepare me for the beyond. I am confident that the next step I take has been ordained and I do not move alone.
Out of everything I learned in high school (no offense to my teachers) that knowledge will be the most lasting, and to me, it is the most important. Congratulations to the Class if 2012.
WE DID IT, Y’ALL!!!! :D
3 days ago - 
1
1 I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
Anais Nin (via lotus-eyes)
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